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cheesy film quotes

Chris H

Chris H

master of boobies
righty, post up all the daft quotes from movies you can remember/find.

In my sig I have one from total recal, classic movie, the see you at thge party Richter was another top line

anyway

cobra

Night Slasher: The court is civilized, isn't it pig?
Cobretti: But I'm not. This is where the law stops and I start - sucker!

Ingrid: Do you ever get involved?
Cobretti: With a woman?

tain Sears: If you ever want to get a transfer from the Zombie Squad to something easier, or you need anything, just say the word.
Cobretti: Well, I would like to have my car replaced.
Captain Sears: We'd like to, but it's not in the budget.


Predator

[after Dutch has nailed a guy to the wall with his knife]
Dutch: Stick around.

conan

Mongol General: What is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

I believe he was sort of quoting one Ghengis Khan there
 
Airplane

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

ack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.

Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.

Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?

Young Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little Girl: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you.
Young Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
 
Joshua Tree

Wellman Anthony Santee: You can open the safe with your balls or without 'em.
Jimmy Shoeshine: First choice.

Rita Marrick: So what did you do? Your crime I mean. Something serious?
Wellman Anthony Santee: I turned away from Jesus.

Jack 'Rudy' Rudisill: Santee was fucking your wife Esther.
Lt. Franklin L. Severence: Many times, Rudy. Many times.
Jack 'Rudy' Rudisill: There's just something wrong with that. A friend is someone who doesn't fuck your wife.
Lt. Franklin L. Severence: I never said Santee was a friend. I said he was like a son to me.
Jack 'Rudy' Rudisill: That makes it worse, doesn't it?
Lt. Franklin L. Severence: Oh yeah, much worse.
 
See no Evil Hear no Evil

Wally: [yelling in Dave's ear] Shazaam! Can you hear me?

Dave: Wally! I heard you!! I heard your voice!

Wally: Hooray! You can hear me!

Dave: What?

Wally: You can hear me!

Dave: No, schmuck, I'm deaf!! I'm deaf! Now do you get it?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dave: And then one day, my wife turned into this remarkable creature that could sit on the end of a broom stick and take off. She could actually achieve flight.

Wally: I think I was married to that woman once.

Dave: Small world.
--------------------------------------------------------------------


Wally: Where are we?

Dave: We are in a wherehouse and you just hit a cow
 
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the man with the golden gun

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Hey! You're that secret agent! That English secret agent! From England!

James Bond: How will I recognize him?
Andrea Anders: Tall, slim, and dark.
James Bond: So is my aunt. Anything distinctive about him?
Andrea Anders: Yes, but how can I tell you? He's not like other men.
[motions toward her chest]
Andrea Anders: He has three...
James Bond: Fascinating anatomical tidbit. But probably the most useless piece of information I've ever heard. Unless of course the Bottoms Up is a strip club, and Scaramanga is performing.

James Bond: Who'd want to put a contract on me?
M: Jealous husbands! Outraged chefs! Humiliated tailors! The list is endless!

James Bond: Pistols at dawn; it's a little old-fashioned, isn't it?
Francisco Scaramanga: That it is. But it remains the only true test for gentlemen.
James Bond: On that score, I doubt you qualify. However, I accept.
 
East is East

Mrs. Shah: I will never allow my daughters to marry into this jungly family of half-breeds.

Ella Khan: Well they may be half-bred, but at least they're not friggin' inbred like those two monstrosities.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

George Khan: ...when I come this country, I have no luggage. Today what I got?
Meenah Khan: You got a chip shop. dad.
George Khan: Right. Own bloody business, see.
 
Autin Powers

Scott Evil: It's no hassle...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: All I'm say...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: There gonna get a...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: I'm just...
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: Would...
Dr. Evil: Sh!... Knock-knock.
Scott Evil: Who's there?
Dr. Evil: Sh!
Scott Evil: But...
Dr. Evil: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Evil: The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Scott Evil: I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.
Dr. Evil: An evil vet?
Scott Evil: No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.
Dr. Evil: An evil petting zoo?
Scott Evil: You always do that!

-------------------------------------------------------------
 
Vanessa Kensington: That's you in a nutshell.
Austin Powers: No, this is me in a nutshell: "Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get into this bloody great big nutshell? What kind of shell has a nut like this?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
U.N. Representative: So, Mr. Evil...
Dr. Evil: It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much.
 
Austin Powers: Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war.
Basil Exposition: What's the other?
Austin Powers: Excuse me?
Basil Exposition: What's the other thing that scares you?
Austin Powers: Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.
 
Goldmember

Dr. Evil: Are those sharks with laser beams attached to their heads?
Scott Evil: [nods]
Dr. Evil: Cool! You mean that I actually have frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads?

------------------------------------------------------------------

Fat Bastard: Unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina

------------------------------------------------------------------

Goldmember: [picking skin off his back] Ooh yesh. Yesh yesh yesh yesh. This is a keeper.
Dr. Evil: Aaaall right... you're not going to put that skin in your mouth, are you?
Goldmember: [eats piece of skin]
Dr. Evil: You did... ok... that's just gross.
[Mini me cringes and shakes head]
Goldmember: Yesh, salty. Yesh that was good.
 
A few years from now, all this, this whole place, everything, it's gone. Just gone. There were survivors [so everything isn't gone then if there were survivors]
- Kyle
Terminator Quote
 
This one always cracks me up...

Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good... on the hole.
Click to expand...
 
Satan: Now you're making me angry. You don't want to see me angry.
Jericho Cane: Oh, you think you're bad, huh? You're a fucking choir boy compared to me! A CHOIR BOY!
Satan: You're in touch with your anger. I admire that. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm going to have a drink.

It may not be that funny but you have to realize Jericho Kane (Arnie) is actually saying this to satan.
 
In Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, Cameron Diaz is talking to Luke Wilson at their high school reunion about sporting mascots:
"You were the Cock? I was the Beaver!"
 
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